Quickies

Sep. 30th, 2025 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Patrick Kearney

1. How’s anal with someone with pearls in their dick? I’m getting some installed soon. You’re referring to pearling, a body modification where small pearl-like beads are inserted under the skin of the penis. Post-pearling, your cock — to the untrained eye (read: most eyes) — is gonna look like it’s covered in cysts that … Read More »

The post Quickies appeared first on Dan Savage.

When Fear Turns You On

Sep. 30th, 2025 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

How can a woman safely indulge her kink when the thing that turns her on is fear? A man is convinced that his bidet use makes him pee more. Our long suffering, patient and kind medical expert, Doc Barak is back to sigh heavily and pretend to take the question seriously. Also, can we trust … Read More »

The post When Fear Turns You On appeared first on Dan Savage.

cimorene: Abstract painting with squiggles and blobs on a field of lavender (deconstructed)
[personal profile] cimorene
I had covid once, in April 2022 I think, and I had restless leg syndrome for the first time in my life during that infection. It was EXTREMELY uncomfortable - I couldn't sleep properly, and I mostly couldn't feel comfortable at all sitting up, but I also could not stop moving my legs almost constantly. I think I settled on weakly bicycling them. But since the rest of my symptoms approximated a severe flu, it also sort of blended into the background nightmare and I don't remember it very clearly.

That was the first time I ever had RLS, and I only know the name because I was googling the symptom at the time. Apparently it was a known symptom of that variant, or that's what the net told me at the time.

Well, I just had it for the SECOND time ever last night!

I fell asleep at midnight, and I guess I was awake with physical discomfort, verging on actual pain, from about 2 am to 7 am when I got up to give the cats their breakfast. It was a bit like the discomfort of a limb that's going to cramp or go to sleep in a bad position, but moving only eased it for a moment, so I was tossing and turning and only managed to sleep fitfully once during that, dreaming that I had RLS. After I fed the cats at 7 I microwaved a wheat pillow and when I went back to bed I put it on my thighs, which enabled me to fall asleep finally. Then, of course, I overslept.

Wax says that she gets RLS sometimes, but a mild version that doesn't bother her as much, and that it's apparently a known symptom of menopause?! Wow, I hate that.

And like so many problems, unfortunately, the most effective recommendations for managing it are all stuff like regular good sleep hygiene and good exercise habits, and it's like yeah I know, I'm TRYING! That, and maybe iron might help.

fall vibes

Sep. 28th, 2025 09:14 am
runpunkrun: sunflowers against a blue sky with a huge billowy white cloud (where hydrogen is built into helium)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
I went to Trader Joe's yesterday and in addition to the things I was meant to purchase, I also got apple cider scented foaming hand soap, maple & sea salt kettle corn, ultra moisturizing pumpkin hand cream, and a little white and orange pumpkin to go with the big heirloom pumpkin I also impulse purchased earlier this week. Because it's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers.

While we're on the subject of gourds, let me also recommend this recipe for gluten-free pumpkin bars from Texanerin. Though, really, it's more of a pumpkin cake, tall and fluffy and full of fall spices. I wrote up the details over on [community profile] gluten_free.

"Don't get vored"

Sep. 27th, 2025 01:36 pm
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
For fans of body horror and/or excellent boss design, please enjoy the Gaping Dragon:



Look, I just love its whole vagina dentata/Venus fly trap/ribcage/entire-body-as-maw/spine-snapping-backbends thing, okay? And it’s a fun fight, despite its absurd number of hitpoints and ability to kill you if it bumps you with a leg while it’s charging.

For anyone curious about how the process of figuring out a Dark Souls boss fight can go, some samples:

https://youtu.be/nnZP6WkKRpg?si=M3abOUFachMgs6cP&t=1143
https://youtu.be/u2U5mlfI6zM?si=Scx5xCM_Z7lB4bbX&t=5560 (after getting Capra on the second try, Mapocolops enters the Montage Of Despair zone)

Important context for some of what’s happening: Dark Souls has no animation cancelling, so if you press the “light attack” button twice, your character will swing twice, and if you press the “heal” button they will start the (slow) flask-drinking animation, even if you’ve subsequently realized this was a terrible idea and are now frantically pressing the buttons to dodge and screaming at your character to move. This is part of what requires you to be more deliberate and tactical; you can’t button-mash your way through even if you can mash buttons quickly.

(Also, both Reggie and Mapo started off summoning an NPC for assistance, but the trouble with it in this fight is that the NPC AI is not very bright and tends to stand in front of the dragon and get eaten early, leaving the player dealing with a boss that still has the extra HP to make up for the summons.)

Conversely, after having an un-fun time with Capra, Symbalily reads the fight near-perfectly on her first try: https://youtu.be/ByTGX1NRFs0?si=VBbn5DLh0hK-Gqp5&t=3183

(Team Halberd for the win; that two-handed R2 is so good.)

thinking of ways to make it better

Sep. 26th, 2025 02:22 pm
musesfool: a baseball and bat on the grass (the crack of ash on horsehide)
[personal profile] musesfool
Slow Horses: Bad Dates: We are so back, baby! spoilers ) Very interested in seeing where this is going.

I am less on the bandwagon and more cautious and disbelieving about the Mets' playoff chances. They control their own destiny for now, but having to play the Marlins to cement their wild card spot is giving me very unhappy flashbacks to past collapses. Also, if Tyrone Taylor is not in CF the rest of the way now that he's back from the IL, then I don't even know what we're doing here.

Lastly, I will be pet-sitting overnight at my brother's tomorrow, so hopefully the new-ish dogs are okay with that. We'll see how it goes!

*

mask up

Sep. 26th, 2025 08:32 am
runpunkrun: illustration of numbered sheep jumping over a sleeping figure, text: runpunkrun (and then she woke up)
[personal profile] runpunkrun

Yesterday, I was upset to learn that at some point in the last five months Masklab (Wayback link) decided not to sell masks anymore. They were the brand that fit me the best and they came in so many colors and patterns they made wearing a mask feel a little less dire.

Here's the stats for comparison:

  • Made in Hong Kong in an ISO-certified Class 7 clean room
  • Highest surgical mask standard ASTM F2100 Level 3 certified by STC:Test Report
  • PFE>99.9%, BFE>99.9%
  • EU PPE Standard EN149 FFP2:Test Report
  • Printed with non-toxic, azo-free dyes certified by STC:Test Report
  • High breathability
  • Fluid resistant up to 160mmHg
  • Individually-wrapped
  • Size: 190mm x 85mm

The good news is that other companies also make this style of mask. So does anyone have recommendations for PPF2/KF94 Korean-style respirators? I'd love it if they came in fun colors, but it's more important that they're trustworthy and reasonably priced.

The folks in r/Masks4All recommend Savewo (Family Masks in the US site), Breatheteq, WellBefore, and Vida as substitutes.

Anyone familiar with any of these?

Or just tell me what you're wearing these days.

I've started clicker training Sipuli

Sep. 26th, 2025 05:33 pm
cimorene: A very small cat peeking wide-eyed from behind the edge of a blanket (cat)
[personal profile] cimorene
Sipuli has had three days of short sessions, 5-10 minutes, of clicker training, and it's adorable. She's possibly the cleverest cat we've ever met, and she's very food-motivated.

Our rewards are the little cubes of freeze dried chicken, which are much more expensive than most cat treats but also healthier because, unlike most cat treats, they don't contain anything but meat; and they were the only kind Snookums could have because he was diabetic, and as a result Tristana is used to getting them at bedtime and after Procedures like claw trimming and ear cleaning.

Sipuli has not fully mastered "touch the target", but she's so engaged, and you can see her thinking.

The idea behind this suggestion from the cat behaviorist was, I think, being able to ultimately train them simultaneously in parallel, and maybe get them to act differently at the gate. This seems possible, but we haven't started training Tristana or introduced Wax making the requests yet, so it's early.

On the minus side, yesterday Sipuli got out and chased Tristana across the room for about thirty seconds. You'd have thought they were both dying, but actually it seems like they did not in fact touch each other at all - Tristana was screaming under the chair while Sipuli was yelling back. That's good, that nobody was hurt and they didn't physically fight. But obviously still a setback. Tristana had to go hide in the turtle bed on the heated upstairs bathroom floor for a few hours.
cimorene: Cartoon of 80s She-Ra with her sword (she-ra)
[personal profile] cimorene
I failed the driving test in apparently one of the most common ways to do it: no major errors except that the engine died at an intersection and I got flustered and failed to restart it so many times that the test administrator had to gently coach me through even though we both knew I knew what to do. I was fully aware that I was releasing the clutch too fast, but I just could not slow down no matter how I tried. Until she gently and calmly told me when in her coaching voice, of course, and that worked right away.

We sat there three light cycles. It was like something out of a sitcom. The test administrator was very nice about it; and apart from the embarrassment, I don't feel that bad about it, and I think I'll be okay when I retake it in three weeks.

§§§

However.

It's very frustrating to be told that you just need to calm down or relax, as a person with anxiety disorders. I don't mean it's insensitive or anything, just that it's frustrating because I already knew that and have been trying very hard to, but it's not working very well, because there's nothing that does work very reliably that I can do.

I can't take a tranquilizer. I can't magically make myself extremely familiar with the entire context/place/situation/people. I can't exercise vigorously right before because it takes longer to travel to Turku than it does for endorphins to fade (and I'd have to have time to go home and shower and dress even before the hour commute). I can tell myself everything's going well and it's not an emergency and I should chill; I can tense up all my muscles and then release and do those breath patterns that help lower your heartbeat; and I can listen to music that I find comforting. That's really it. It's got limited effectiveness.

But importantly, the bus ride is already stressful enough for me to need to do those things much of the time because I have a severe perfume allergy and am hypersensitive to perfumes, and typically there is at least one (physically) irritating perfume experience in over 90% of bus rides that I take. It's not often possible to come out of one centered and relaxed and refreshed, even if I logically know that the risk of anaphylaxis was low!

Probably it would still be hard to relax without the bus trip, though.
runpunkrun: Dana Scully reading Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' in the style of a poster you'd find in your school library, text: Read. (reading)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
Another Ana and Din mystery. It was fine! But, like the first book, it lacked charisma. I'd put it down fully intending to pick it back up again once I'd eaten dinner or brushed my teeth or ensured the kitten wasn't quietly unravelling the fabric of the universe, but once I got back I'd do literally anything but pick it up again, sometimes leaving the actual book open next to me while I played hours of picross, watched trashy documentaries on Netflix, or read articles I'd had languishing in open tabs for months.

The world is interesting, but the main characters still aren't doing it for me. Like the first book, I was more intrigued by the secondary characters. Here, the warden Malo with her brash confidence, traumatic past, and uncertain future, and in the last book, the investigator who was better with a sword than a notebook and whom I'd inadvertently—and with absolutely no encouragement from the text—pictured as Gimli from The Lord of The Rings movies. Din, in many ways, reads as a means to an end, a recording device more than a fully developed person with his own voice and thoughts, and Ana, well, I figured out what she was before Din, but that's not saying much.

Contains: smoking (especially as a form of self-medication); hereditary enslavement; descriptions of violence and dead bodies; body horror.

What is he eating?

Sep. 23rd, 2025 08:57 pm
sakana17: zhuo yuan looking to one side (become-a-farmer-zhuo-yuan)
[personal profile] sakana17
ETA 1: Mystery not solved yet, but new information discovered!

ETA 2: Mystery most likely solved! (thank you, [personal profile] nnozomi!)

Animal part? Tofu? Something else? )

if i could, i would let it go

Sep. 23rd, 2025 07:15 pm
musesfool: jar of flower petals, spilling (but there is this)
[personal profile] musesfool
Baby Miss L is super into Halloween and has two Hello Kitty dolls dressed like skeletons that dance! She might be a skeleton herself this year! Her costume has not been finalized, but there is time.

As I've mentioned, I was never big into Halloween - it was my mom's birthday, so a lot of the time I was home celebrating with her - but it's fun to see the baby into it.

Today is the 12th anniversary of my mother's death. That is a whole seventh grader! It makes me sad that my parents will never know Baby Miss L.

*

Think of the Children

Sep. 23rd, 2025 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Patrick Kearney

I need help figuring out how to tell my kids I am non-monogamous. I’ve been non-monogamous for over five years and have been married for nearly fifteen years. My husband and I have three kids together, the oldest of which is now 14. My husband and I have not been sexually active for nearly eight … Read More »

The post Think of the Children appeared first on Dan Savage.

Boy on the Inside?

Sep. 23rd, 2025 11:00 am
[syndicated profile] savagelove_feed

Posted by Nancy Hartunian

A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he’s having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it’s distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido? A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends … Read More »

The post Boy on the Inside? appeared first on Dan Savage.

ADHD roadblocks

Sep. 22nd, 2025 04:01 pm
cimorene: A small bronze table lamp with triple-layered orange glass shades (stylish)
[personal profile] cimorene
I have been thinking about the ADHD struggle, and I decided I should buy the Barkley book on adult ADHD and also a copy of How To Keep House While Drowning; I added them to my cart at the online bookstore, then didn't order them because I didn't have the executive function to do that yet. I found some potential replacements for the charger of my laptop that just broke as well, but didn't manage to finish comparing them and decide.

Other stuff I need to do and have been unable to start includes:Read more... )

I think a lot of what's blocking me from several of these things in the last month, anyway, is that they feel like projects that require planning and stamina, but so much of my bandwidth has been going to anxiety about the driving test (two days from now) that there wasn't space. This is extremely normal for me and obviously a fallacy, but I guess I've been feeling like the time until the test was mostly short enough that I should just try to minimize anxiety and worry about all the other stuff after. And I didn't want to take my adhd meds in between.

tips and overthrows - gotta have it

Sep. 21st, 2025 06:15 pm
musesfool: a loaf of bread (staff of life)
[personal profile] musesfool
Yesterday evening, I made a lovely pan-seared steak for dinner, and today I roasted a chicken. It was more expensive, but I bought one that came already spatchcocked, which meant it cooked in about 40 minutes. I used this recipe and the white meat was quite juicy and good. It's annoying to have to flip the whole chicken in the frying pan though, so I don't know if I will do it this way again, especially since I don't really care about crispy skin since I don't eat the skin. [obligatory quote: "any demons with high cholesterol?... You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh."]

I also did the first part of this chocolate chip cookie recipe and now they're in the fridge chilling. Tomorrow I will bake 2 off and then do the same thing for the next 3 days too, since it only makes 8 extremely large cookies and they are supposedly best when freshly baked. I will report back on how they taste!

Tomorrow, I plan to make a nice herb and cheese frittata for dinner and lunch for a couple of days too, and of course, there will be leftover roast chicken to eat too.

*

Duolingo Japanese Vocabulary, Vol 4

Sep. 21st, 2025 09:22 am
runpunkrun: the king of all cosmos' pea-sized prince (katamari damashii)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
Like many things this year, my Japanese study has been greatly reduced by time and circumstance. In January I stopped doing my daily work on WaniKani (where I'd reached Level 9) and KaniWani but kept up with my lessons on Duolingo. Much of my vocabulary has slipped away from me, but the grammar persists, and the vocabulary's easy to look up, so I'm not that bad off, and I can pick WaniKani back up whenever I want because I have a lifetime subscription. I'm just gonna be SUPER BEHIND when I do. ウヘッ。


Volume 4

Describe a wedding | Make plans to go out

Vol 4 )
musesfool: head!Six (and they have a plan)
[personal profile] musesfool
If you are interested in checking out Dungeon Crawler Carl but don't want to buy the first book (or the wait list at your library is very long), there's a webtoon version you can check out for free to see if it's up your alley. It's making me want to start a reread of the series even though I just read it last month. *hands*

*

(no subject)

Sep. 20th, 2025 11:28 am
runpunkrun: chibi james t kirk making finger guns with the pansexual flag behind him (fun seeking pansexual)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
ALSO, long time no see, but I've been quiet because I've been WRITING. Stay tuned for Kirk & Spock bonding in their shared bathroom.
runpunkrun: Dana Scully reading Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space' in the style of a poster you'd find in your school library, text: Read. (reading)
[personal profile] runpunkrun
Set in a place that is probably not Earth, or Earth at a very different time, where kaiju rise up out of the ocean during the wet season and head for land. In the Empire, the Engineers maintain the sea walls that keep the leviathans out; the Legion fight them back; the Apothetikals develop organic means to alter the plants and animals—and people—that make it possible to survive in this hostile land, and the Iudex investigate the crimes. The wet season's coming and Dinios Kol, Imperial engraver and (apprentice) assistant investigator, has been sent to the scene of a ghastly murder to engrave it in his memory and report back to his master, the reclusive and eccentric (and possibly autistic) Anagosa Dolabra.

This is a plot-driven mystery, more focused on the details of the investigation than the development of the characters, and for me that made it feel a little empty. The ad copy wants you to believe Din and Ana have a Watson and Holmes thing going on, but that is barely the case. The characters are mostly a means to an end, a collection of characteristics rather than actual people, and this includes our first person narrator, Din. He's a nervous little (queer) guy, basically, only tall, did he mention he's tall?? He's tall, gang. And dyslexic. I liked him well enough, but I never felt like I really knew what he was about.

The book has a fantasy science-fiction vibe, and a bunch of new guys, like whenever RJB needed to explain a crime he just invented a new type of guy. It was starting to feel a little silly. Like, "Oh, didn't you know about this type of guy? It's the only way this mystery makes sense!" I don't think the mystery is the kind that can be solved just by paying attention, rather it's the kind with an extensive drawing room scene near the end that explains it all.

And I guess I've been reading exactly the right amount of Adrian Tchaikovsky because I kept wondering what was up with the leviathans, like what's their deal? Has anybody bothered to ask why they want to come on land? Maybe it's part of their life cycle, maybe there's something there they need—but this is not that book. It's a fantasy murder mystery set in the middle of a seasonal kaiju attack that must be stopped, and that's fine, it's just one more way the story lacked depth. But the mystery and the world building were enough to keep me engaged, and I'm curious to see what happens next so I've already checked the sequel out from the library.

Contains: body horror; a lot of blood; fear of contagion; sword violence.
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